Ever since I was a little kid, I always stayed at my grandma’s house. I was spoiled rotten by her. My grandma left me this past Thursday at 9:45 P.M. I loved my grandma very much. I would always stay at her house during the summers, and she always told me when I grow up and am 20 years old that I would never come over and stay the night. Well, we didnt make it to 20, but 16 is pretty close. The last time I ever stayed there with her and my grandpa was last Friday. She went to the hospital on Sunday, and she stayed there until Wednesday. She came home on hospice, but it wasnt long till she stopped breathing, and passed away. She had no struggle when she did go, it was very calm. My entire family was over at my grandpa’s house. I was surrounded by mourning relatives, but it gave me a chance to let everything out.
Everything seems to be getting back to normal now. The visitation is tomorrow, and the funeral is Wednesday. She has been cremated. It is definitely hitting my grandpa the hardest. All I can remember from last Thursday is my grandpa holding my grandma’s hand, crying, thanking her for being his wife for 50 years. It was the worst thing to see such a big guy cry. He may look hard, but he has the softest heart. I love my grandpa.
As you probably know, I am straightedge. People always seem to ask me why I am. One reason, my grandma. I haven’t told many people about this, but I feel like I should get my feelings out. About 2, 2 and a half years ago, I was staying at my grandparent’s house. My grandma and I went over to my Aunt’s house across the street for a small fire/cookout on her driveway. It was a lot of fun, and we had a good time. We decided to call it a night, so we got up, thanked them, and walked back over to my grandparent’s house. When we got there, all the lights were off. We figured that my grandpa just went to sleep. We walked up to the front door, but it was locked. We tried the back door, but it was locked. We even tried the garage door, but the power was off. All of the sudden my grandpa opens the window. We asked him what he was doing, he was obviously drunk. He started talking about how my grandma didn’t care about him and how she didn’t care about him when she had a heart attack. He called her a bitch and told her to sleep on the street in a box because he didn’t feel she deserved to come inside. My aunt overheard the yelling, so she ran over and saw what was happening. She convinced my grandpa to let us in. My grandma went straight to the kitchen, I followed. I couldn’t even look at my grandpa. My grandma is just staring at the ground when I walk in the kitchen. All of the sudden she walks over to me, hugs me, and starts crying. I have never heard my grandma cry until that night. These were her exact words that she said to me. “Austin, I don’t ever want you to become the type of person your grandfather is. I don’t want you to become an alcoholic. Please, just promise me you won’t.” I gave her my word, that I would never become what he was. That night, my grandpa finally realized what pain he has caused my grandma and our family. He used to have a drinking problem a couple years ago. He has finally overcome it, he still does drink one or two every day, but he has come a long way.
I’ll never forget what my grandma told me, and what my grandpa was like. To this day, I haven’t broken her promise, and I never will.
My grandma had the biggest impact on my life, she was everything to me. I love her unconditionally, and I always will. She always believed in me, she said I could do anything and be anyone I wanted to be.
Although she’s gone, I know that she is always with me in whatever I do. She will always be here for me. I love you Nan.
